Synkroniciti is pleased to welcome Californian poet Roger Funston with “Saying Goodbye,” a searing poem about caring for a parent with dementia. As his mother lies in a hospital bed after an accident with her wheelchair from which she will not recover, Roger sifts through years of feelings and experiences. “…I watched you deteriorate both physically and mentally/ The pain, loss of independence fueling your anger and fury/ Followed by crushing depression/ Your hidden mean streak revealed to the dismay of facility staff.” He is painfully honest about the emotional damage, some unintended and some inflicted with purpose, that comes along with being a caretaker. Many of us have this experience, but we don’t speak of it because it feels shameful to be wounded by someone we love or feel we should love. And yet the only way through the natural resentment is to acknowledge it as Roger does. “Now I feel helpless to comfort you/ Not knowing what else I could have done/ I should feel more grief and sorrow/ But the wall between us grew too large.” Part of the grieving process involves dismantling those defensive walls we build to survive and experiencing relief that we no longer need them, a twin relief to seeing the other person out of pain. This is raw poetry, the kind that reveals heart wounds, delivered with a simplicity that belies its depth.
Read “Saying Goodbye” in Synkroniciti’s “Vulnerable” issue, available here: https://synkroniciti.com/the-magazine/purchase-individual-issues/.
Roger Funston came to poetry late in life after a long career as an environmental scientist. He met the love of his life (Diane Funston) at an open mic in Tehachapi, CA. Roger began to hone his writing skills at a weekly poetry gathering hosted by Diane. He participates in several reading and critique groups via Zoom. Roger writes about his life journey, his travels, his tribe and about things he has seen that you can’t make up. He often finds inspiration roaming the forest and deserts of the Western US.